The Impostress Has Evolved
A few years ago, I wrote a piece on my personal experiences with overcoming Imposter Syndrome, spurred on by an incredible hike in the Rocky Mountains and a longing for a pair of hiking pants.
The mountain is one I see from a distance every time I visit the Rockies, and it reminds me of my feelings that day, fills me with gratitude for the lessons I gained, and encourages me to keep trying new things, even when they are scary.
The pants, though, have been far more elusive.
I had imagined that I would stride into the hiking people store, plunk down my credit card, and depart with my fashion trophy in hand. Not to be!
Oh, I tried—I assure you—to find the right pair. I have tested out several models and brands, swallowing my pride about sizes and coughing down some high price tags. But I couldn’t settle on the right ones. Turns out I had to go to the edge of the country to find them, at another national park, on another kickass vacation.
This fall, I went to beautiful Maine and braved the massive LL Bean complex. After a dozen trips back and forth to the dressing room, the hiking pants are mine!
That it took so long tracks—time and experience are, after all, the true cure for Imposter Syndrome. And that feeling eases as you gain expertise through trial, error, and time on task.
Oftentimes, we want this magical movie-ending moment where the fog of Imposter Syndrome lifts (and music rises as the credits roll), but that’s not how it goes.
You wake up from Imposter Syndrome a little bit at a time—step by step just the same way you hike up a mountain. One day, you realize that you haven’t felt like an Impostress for a hot minute. You may even wonder why you felt that way at all!
I have talked with many clients who agree that it takes about 3 years to really feel like they have a handle on a new job or a big new responsibility.
The first year you are learning the ropes and trying not to screw anything up too terribly. The second year you are tinkering and developing your own systems and building deep relationships.
But that third year is the sweet spot, because now you know the ropes and you feel like you Belong. During those early times, though, you will vacillate between confidence in your knowledge and Imposter Syndrome.
Navigating Imposter Syndrome is tricky, but the most useful hack is learning how to manage your feelings while you are developing expertise. The way to get beyond Imposter Syndrome is to work on the new skills and experiences—the way I kept going on hikes, for example—but being faced with working on new skills sometimes trips our insecurity triggers and may cause us to shy away from the very things that help us go from feeling like an Impostress to feeling like an Expert.
Consider these three solutions to use when your Impostress is screaming in your ear:
Mindset Things
The most important element of the Impostress period is to never, ever forget that it is a Temporary State. This will pass away in time, and you are in the driver’s seat to get through it. Everyone feels it about something at some point—and, no, there is nothing wrong with you. Your feelings and fears of imposter-ness don’t define you. What I’ve found helpful is creating reminders of positive self-talk. Mantras such as “this will pass in time” and “just keep swimming” are common for a reason—find yours and keep it in the front of your mind.
Actions and behaviors.
If there were ever a time to create an accomplishments journal, an Imposter Syndrome period is it! Each day, list all the things you did well, no matter how small—and don’t let your “accomplishments” be limited by perfectionism. Another great option is to view this period as an iterative learning process. You are learning how to become the Expert. When you find yourself wandering into Impostress mode, ask yourself, “what did I learn from that meeting/project/conversation?” Most importantly, set realistic goals, with small, accomplishable milestones. Climbing a mountain is one step at a time, not whole trails at once.
People to lean on.
Gather your support crew. Identify people who can serve as mentors to your learning and cheerleaders to your positive self-talk. You are surrounded by folks who are ready (and excited!) to help you grow—now is the time to let them. It also helps to have a professional nearby for neutral support—that’s why so many of my clients mention Imposter Syndrome. The coach-client relationship is the perfect place for the vulnerability of working through Imposter Syndrome.
Lastly…I love my hiking pants. I wear them all the time now, and even asked for a couple of pairs in other colors.
Why? Because they look awesome. And they remind me of an accomplishment of my own.
PS: They are actually called “trekking pants.” I feel so fancy knowing the cool-kid insider terms.
Sidebar: Imposter Syndrome is a term originally coined in the late 1970s by two psychologists. Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes dubbed the concept “imposter phenomenon” and described it as a pattern in which competent and successful individuals doubt their own accomplishments and abilities despite evidence to the contrary. Some social scientists posit that using the term “phenomenon” is actually more accurate (and helpful!) than “syndrome” because the behavior is not a flaw or illness to be cured (as syndrome suggests). Instead, it is a temporary state of being through which people evolve.
